Kitty vs Pineapple
by MCrind
Summary: The Winter War is over and everyone's at school.Both Grimmjow and Renji want Ichigo but only one of them can have him. Yaoi Boy X Boy GrimmIchi. If you don't enjoy Yaoi, just don't read or flame. That simple.


Hey guys, sorry if any of you thought this was The Hunt....it isn't. It is however, GrimmIchi smut... =)

Don't ask about the name...I have no idea.

This is for Sakusha Saelbu for being the 100th review on The Hunt according to the prompt I was given:

"**A Grimm/Ichi pairing, with an one sided  
Renji/Ichigo.**

The Winter War is over thanks to the joint efforts of Grimmjow and Ichigo  
fighting together to beat Aizen so Grimm was allowed to live. So it takes  
place at Ichigo's school where Grimmjow now goes to in a gigai, of course. I  
guess throw in a jealous Renji and a possessive Grimmjow each fighting for  
Ichigo's affections and you get the idea"

Hopefully I didn't ruin the prompt...However, I do like this AU, so there will probably be more oneshots that take place in it. Someday. After I finish The I ever do.

Disclaimer; I own nothing except for my friends at DDR

Sakusha, sorry for taking so long, I hope this is up to your expectations!

* * *

Homeroom, if you were to ask Grimmjow Jeagerjaques, was possibly the worst concept to ever be created by humans. There were absolutely no positive aspects to it, at least, not as far as he could tell. If the point was to make friends during your high school years, then it needed serious re-vamping. Having been in school for three weeks and not having met anyone even remotely interested in talking to him besides the shinigami brats, Grimmjow spent a lot of time sleeping during homeroom. It seems that having bright blue hair and a body that towered over almost everyone else was only good for creating rumors that you were part of the yakuza.

At this point, however, the main question isn't how to improve the school systems, but rather, what the hell was the Sexta Espada, Grimmjow Jeagerjaques doing sleeping with his left check smack against the wooden desk, and drool dripping out? The answer, of course, would be that Grimmjow Jeagerjaques, of class 3-B, year 12 was running five minutes late to Calculus II, and having a damn good time doing it. Or, he was until he heard something in the hallway that made him hiss through his teeth like the jungle cat he was.

"So, Ichigo… I was wondering…Do you want to maybe….go out sometime?"

Slowly raising his head from his arms, also placed on the desk, his blue eyes narrowed in recognition of the male voice that was daring to ask out **his** Ichigo. He had never thought that the pineapple would be stupid enough to try this. Rising silently from the old wooden and metal contraption we know as a desk, he stealthily made his way across the classroom floor, his predator's strut taking him to the wall just next to the door, where he waited for Ichigo to leave so that he could pounce upon the other shinigami and show him just how territorial certain jungle cats could get. He was looking forward to this…it had been ages since he'd had an opponent worth destroying, although Tousen had been pretty fun…until his arms were gone.

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Ichigo stood in the open hallway, his back against the wall between two windows, lips pressed together thinly and his eyes only marginally larger than his usual scowl. The white cotton of his shirt was bunched up on his lower back, collecting sweat and generally irritating him. Although it was an annoyance to him, it was not solely responsible for his second-stage scowl (~23- 26.5% more effective than the level 1!) this time. He was staring, tangerine eyebrows pointed in a downwards v-shape, focused on the male only a few steps distance from him. His left hand clenched tightly around the spine of his science book and notebook while he used his right hand to steady himself against the wall. It was really fucking annoying when people decided to enter your personal space and cause you to lose your balance. The glare rose up yet another level. The man receiving the glare had no reason to be in a school building in the first place, considering how old he was, and he certainly didn't have a good reason to be enrolled and doing this...especially not as with such a bad technique. Six hundred or something years old, and he couldn't even ask someone out without blushing and fidgeting.

The combination of the rough material of the building grinding against his back , the bunched up shirt and the ridiculousness of the question only made the scowl deepen and the scorn more apparent in his voice. He really needed to look into transferring somewhere that shinigami decided to make their "real-world base"; it was starting to make him crabby.

"No, Renji. That's a fucking stupid idea."

Naturally, the rejection only caused the vice-captain to determinedly move even closer to him, pressing Ichigo's smaller frame almost straight against the wall while Renji's body had a slight stoop, bringing the two shinigami eye to eye. While the position was uncomfortable, Ichigo began to realize that declining Renji's invitation and smashing his assuredly erotic and messy fantasies might, in fact, be a great way to fix that slouching problem he had begun to notice in class. The more he thought about it though, the more he realized what a poor decision that would make in the long run, especially given the forwardness that such an outright rebuff was giving the taller man.

Having diverted his eyes for a period of time that had made both of the boys uncomfortable without any real result, he warily, and reluctantly, turned brown eyes to impossibly small beady ones that were a much darker shade, giving Renji the jumpstart that he needed and that Ichigo was desperately trying to avoid.

"C'mon, I've really liked you…for like…forever! Won't you even give me the chance?" Oh no. He didn't just… "It'd be really fun…and we can do whatever you want!" He did it again! He was fucking whining while asking someone out! Cringing mentally, Ichigo did the only thing that would allow him to get to class without having missed the whole damn thing; closed his eyes for a moment to collect his thoughts, balled up his free hand and punched his strange-colored-hair associate/ pursuer in the stomach with as much force as he could in such a confined space. When Renji's eyes bulged at the unexpected force and he fell gracelessly to the floor, Ichigo peeled his shirt and back off the wall, sighed and said one last thing before walking away.

"Renji, friends don't say shit like that to friends if they expect to keep them." Brown eyes focused critically on the wheezing guy before him before continuing. "They also know better than to try and push people into it. Besides, if you really liked me, you wouldn't have been such a damn coward about it."

Finished, he sighed and began to briskly walk down the hallway, the uniform pants whispering against each other almost loud enough to cover up the whisper.

"If you really had this feeling for so long, you would have noticed when I felt the same, as well as when I stopped."

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Hearing the retreating footsteps of the substitute shinigami, as well as his words, Grimmjow decided that it was safe to leave the classroom and have a little chat with the lieutenant who had just barely regained his breath. Fuck, the little strawberry was a fucking firecracker, and Grimmjow could never deny that the challenge of the kid made him all hot and bothered…in the best possible way. But before that could happen, he had to make sure that there weren't any more interferences.

Stalking over to the wobbly red-head and pushing him back to the ground rougher than was considered friendly, Grimmjow crouched on the balls of his feet next to his groaning competition's head. Even with all that hair, it wasn't enough to cushion a clumsy fall to the floor.

"What the fuck!" Ah. He was whining again. Fucking brilliant place to start.

"That's the problem, you fucking retard. All you ever do is whine, complain and make excuses. Berry ain't into that you know."

Renji was rubbing his head with one hand, while the other was relying on the forearm to support his weakened upper body with some slight success. "What the hell do you know? You don't even like Ichigo, so back the fuck out. He just needs to realize how much he wants _us_ to happen."

Grimmjow, being the sadistic, violent and competitive person that he was, decided then to be even more blunt than he normally was, after he whacked the other's head hard enough to leave him lying prone on the floor yet again. It was time to show this "baboon king" that he couldn't even begin to compete with the king of beasts.

In a smooth, feline transition, the former sixth Espada was no longer crouching, but was instead kneeling on top of his competition, knees on either side of his chest digging into Renji's armpits, and a firm, unrelenting grasp on the pointed chin of the red-head. His fingers pressing into the skin and leaving indentations, he began to brusquely twist the face left, right and back again; the movements matching his words.

"Listen well, Abarai; I'm only going to tell you this once before I begin to get aggressive. I will fucking tear you to pieces the size of my hand if you even touch the brat again. You will be carved into pieces that allow me to do something different to every fucking part of your body. If you even think about sex around him, I'm gonna take those pieces and light some of 'em on fire while I put some others on ice. And that's you getting off easily. You get me?"

The lack of a prompt response led to the sharp jerk of a chin in a direction it was never meant to go, and increased pressure from all fingers.

"I asked you a fucking question you shithead! Maybe I wasn't being clear enough. You. Don't. Fucking. Touch. My. Goddamn. Ichigo!"

Accentuating the last word with a simultaneous knee-jerk to the pits and a swift upward wrench of the chin and neck, Grimmjow casually dismounted the very pained lieutenant of the sixth squad and proceeded to wipe off his uniform pants; the floors were due for a cleaning.

"I'm glad we've arrived at an agreement lieutenant."

"You…fucking…ass." Renji was struggling to once again right himself; getting pummeled by two men who were easily of captain status was enough to wipe anyone out.

"You should really watch your mouth, pineapple. You don't really want to have me as your enemy…I do have sway in Seireitei among circles much more influential than yours. I could make your life even more miserable than I already told you if you continue to show such disrespect to a captain."

Oh, deciding to help the shinigami win the winter war was definitely starting to seem like a truly brilliant move now, instead of just a way to stay alive. Now it was even better that he had been granted leadership of the newly formed 14th squad. Life was definitely starting to go the right way for Grimmjow Jaegerjaques.

Renji was physically and mentally at his limit. The beatings and this goddamn development combined were definitely making this something like the worst day of his life. Just one more sentence, and then he could wake up from this nightmare.

"You've… got…. to be…. fucking… shitting me."

Just like that, Renji Abarai was down and out for the count, thanks to a combination of shock and physical exhaustion.

Grimmjow, satisfied by this response decided to gloat and leave the crumpled form of the defeated in the hallway. With a frighteningly satisfied smile and an even scarier sound of disharmonic whistling, he showed up to his Calculus II class for the first time in two weeks.

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Ichigo was in the middle of art class painting angry red blotches on top of angry blue blotches when in turn made sad purple drips all over the canvas. As a consequence, he had been assigned the only easel left; the wobbly one. Only adding fire to his anger, Ichigo had attacked the assignment ("You must express how you feel _now_, at this _exact moment_ with _color_ my lovelies! Make it _beautiful!_") with all the feelings he had at his disposal. Annoyance at Renji for deciding to have feeling now of all times, frustration at his rapid acceptance of Grimmjow in his life as well as despair that Yumichika had somehow gotten a fucking job traumatizing students as an art teacher.

Rinsing his abused paintbrush in the cup of purple water, Ichigo reflected on the situation with Grimmjow. They didn't have any classes together or anything since Ichigo was only a second year student while Grimmjow was in his final year at Karakura High. But after the war, the Commander-General had decided that since there was no way to successfully integrate those with some hollow attributes into the thirteen protection squads, and had decided that it would be easier to form a new squad, one where Ichigo had found himself placed in for when he was alive and for when he died and appeared in soul society.

Although the squad still didn't have any leadership or organization, they were still required to meet and generate reports of some kind when they could. Of course, this had kept Ichigo in contact with Grimmjow since all of the others were initially wary of the Espada. By simply acknowledging Grimmjow, the others had slowly begun to incorporate him into their own circle, as well as some of the other arrancars, although Nel had a much easier time than any of them. The consistent interaction with Grimmjow had forced Ichigo to examine him as more than the battle-lover he first seemed to be. Unfortunately, Ichigo wasn't sure what that meant, which only made him start making angry green splotches and make his ugly painting nasty enough to make Yumichika refuse to talk to him for the rest of the period. Maybe his day was getting better.

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Grimmjow was still smiling as he left the school and for the short walk to Urahara's, where the rest of the 14th squad usually met for lack of another meeting place. After he had walked into the back room and was looking for his favorite chair pillow (blue, of course), the door slid open again and Ichigo walked in, surprised to only find Grimmjow, since the others were usually here long before either of them.

"Do you know where everyone else is?"

Like Grimmjow, Ichigo apparently had a favorite sitting pillow too, although his was a surprisingly similar shade to the color of Grimmjow's eyes. Arranging their legs so that they could sit comfortably under the low table without their knees bumping, the awkward and stilted conversation continued.

"Nah, you'd think they'd have left us a fucking note or something."

"Yeah…I guess."

And they sat, waiting in the silence for a few moments, stewing in their respective thoughts. Grimmjow, coming down from the high of victory was now focusing on his next challenge; Ichigo. He should really make a move soon, before the fear wore off the damn baboon and he tried something funny. He had to move very quickly, or else he'd lose his chance.

The sudden ringing of his communication device/cell phone broke the silence as he read the message from the rest of the squad, ignoring how much closer Ichigo had scooted out from the other side of the table in order to possibly read over his shoulder. Closing the phone with a flick of his fingers, Grimmjow put it back in his pocket as the shinigami came to sit next to him in an attempt to read the message.

"Who was that?"

"Do you make it your damn business to pry into people's personal lives at every fucking opportunity?"

Damn, it was fun playing with the kid like this. Annoyed, Ichigo adjusted his legs so they were slightly spread out and stretched behind Grimmjow while he rested on his hands behind his back, palms down on the floor, scowl back in place.

"It's a fucking work phone, Grimm."

Whoa. Hold up. When had little berry decided that they were comfortable enough to do that kind of nicknames? Judging by the expectant stare of intense brown eyes, the brat didn't even realize he had done it. That, my friends, is when Grimmjow realized that there was truly no time like the present to get what you wanted, especially when it would be a lot easier than you originally expected it to.

Making as if to grab the kid and start a wrestling bout that was almost routine for them, Grimmjow instead grabbed the back of the lighter neck and pulled him close with a quick yank. Just like that, their faces were right in front of each other, two different people with two different expressions. One confident and calculating and the other surprised and mildly shocked.

"I guess it is a work phone," Grimmjow was using this time to slowly move their mouths closer, speaking slowly to build up the tension that was already taking a steep hike. "you're pretty clever to notice that…aren't you, Ichi?" The eyes widened even more when the realization of what he had done hit him. "Don't worry," Lips separated by a space that only a dust particle could squeeze through were moving against, one in speech, the other quivering in surprise and uncertainty. "it was a work call…it seems like everyone else had to go to Soul Society for some testing."

"T-testing?" The lips were wider now, drawing in more air to make up for the increased rate that it was flowing through the blood as the heartbeat rose as the proximity of the two individuals increased. "F-for what?"

Lips were definitely touching now; every movement of either pair was a simple and uncomplicated kiss, every syllable bringing a teasing touch.

"Mmhmm." The vibration brought a different sensation that the ghosting lips, a distinct and purposeful contrast that was meant to goad the other into wanting more. From what Grimmjow could tell, it was definitely working. Excellent, it was time to bring out the next phase.

"For leadership positions. They need to figure out…" Long, dexterous fingers were now sliding against the smooth skin of a neck that led to a forest of vibrant orange hair, while the other was gliding and applying light but firm pressure from the knee to the hip where the pants ended. "who's a leader, and who's a follower…" A firm grip on the hip and a quick sliding of the hand from the neck to the covered chest was followed by a smooth push so that Ichigo lay sprawled on the floor with Grimmjow sitting on his groin and hunched over so that his face hovered over the younger male's, his tongue tracing the strong jaw line that moved in time with the heavy breathing of the smaller body. "which of those are you, …Ichigo?"

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Ichigo was having severe difficulty breathing. It wasn't enough that Grimmjow had surprised him, but he could feel the exaggerated canines of the man above him just a short movement away from the warm tongue that was animalistic in texture teasing his skin when it could be somewhere else, somewhere where it could feel so much better. But…why did he stop, why wasn't he still doing that? It had felt so good…it was as if he understood why Grimmjow and him didn't actually fight anymore because of this sudden heat and tension; pleasure he had been denying for who knows how long. No more. It was time for him to allow himself this.

"Wh-why should I have to choose? I want both."

Both of his hands were on Grimmjow's mask-free cheeks and pulling him close so that he could take control of…this….whatever it turned out to be. Finally pressing their lips together, he savagely broke through the barrier of lips and teeth to explore the smooth folds of cheek muscles, the variations of each tooth; some sharp and curved, some rounded and stout, the long, sensitive tongue that could taste him as he tasted Grimmjow. This is what he wanted. He wanted this adventure and he wanted to take it with Grimmjow.

Ichigo felt the other appendage push his own back into his mouth, where Grimmjow conducted a similar reconnaissance mission as Ichigo, all the while sliding his hands up the warm expanse of muscled belly beneath him, his thumbs pulling the fabric with them. Ichigo had never been happier to have taken off his uniform jacket immediately after school. Their kiss was sloppy, and probably looked disgusting to watch; tongues pushing against each other as saliva connected and disconnected as they both won and lost ground, their lips shiny and wet when Grimmjow finally pulled away from him enough to look at what he had done.

Growling at the pause in movement and activity, Ichigo followed the movement of Grimmjow as he sat up straight again. Cerulean eyes stared at a body that, a year before, hadn't been half as developed as it was now and marveled. The shirt had been pushed up above crinkled nipples, exposing them to the mild late afternoon air and Grimmjow. Embarrassed, Ichigo reached to pull the shirt back down, but was stopped by a stronger hand.

"Don't."

Bending back down to the clash of mouths, Grimmjow planted his hands in the orange hair and began to pull up as he moved back to a position where he wasn't sitting on Ichigo. As Ichigo finally reached a sitting position, he felt the hands travel to his partially exposed chest and shivered at the warmth of the large hands in contrast to his chilling skin. His lips, however never faltered in their activities and as the hands began to push upwards again, he raised his arms, continuing the kiss until the fabric got in the way, and the brief second that it took to get the material off was almost too long. The hands moved back to his body, traveling down the neck, the back and slowing as they reached the floor and his buttocks. Worming their way between the two, a sudden lift and Ichigo's legs were behind Grimmjow and he was resting on the ex-Espada's spread muscular thighs.

"Personally, I like to be a leader." Ichigo could barely comprehend the sentence as he felt the mouth that he had previously engaged begin to torment his nipple while eager hands did their best to remove the buttons off his trousers as he flailed about in gratification, his own arms reaching for Grimmjow's clothing. Finally grabbing hold of the buttoned shirt, he fumbled with a button he couldn't see as he struggled to reply with the distracting attention applied to his nipple.

"I-I guess…it's going…oh….to be hard…w-when you-u h-have to…take orders…from the captain…of the squad." Somehow, Ichigo had managed to get all the buttons undone as he talked, although it had taken him a good five minutes to get that single sentence out. During that time, Grimmjow had successfully managed to move from one nipple to the other and was just finishing up with the belly button, his tongue darting in and out as Ichigo was practically tearing the shirt sides he still held in his hands.

Disengaging from Ichigo's stomach and removing his hands, Grimmjow shrugged out of his shirt at the same time Ichigo had eagerly started on Grimmjow's fly, his own pants just waiting for a good tug to free him. Grimmjow took immediate notice of this and had pulled them down, as well as the underwear, enough to completely expose Ichigo's bum, where his hands quickly returned to after fishing his "just-in-case" pocket size lube out of his pocket.

"From the captain? I think I'll be able to deal with my own orders." Ichigo could feel Grimmjow's hands working near his lower back, and directed his own hands to unsteadily finish exposing Grimmjow's erection from where it had been confined. His job finished, Ichigo loped his hands around Grimmjow's neck only seconds before he felt a slippery finger probe between his nether cheeks. Feeling the tip poke against his opening, Ichigo began to breathe shallowly in anticipation.

"Y-you can't…be the…captain…" The finger had breached his entrance and was slowly making its way deeper, lining the inner walls in preparation for more fingers and eventually, the stiff cock that stood straight up between Grimmjow's legs.

"But I am." The first finger had made its way in as far as it could go and the second was worming in faster, more abruptly, knowing that they way had at least a little leeway since it was covered in lubrication. With two fingers moving to completely different rhythms, it was difficult to concentrate on anything else, the stretching not being so much painful as uncomfortable. "I'm going to be your captain…you're going to have to listen to what I say." The two fingers spread, leaving a space in between for a third finger, all of them wriggling about in different directions and speeds, taking all of Ichigo's concentration just to keep from squirming at the feeling.

"Sh-shut up…we c-can talk…abo-about this …later."

He was rocking against the fingers, forcing them deeper and faster inside of him since they had begun moving as one, the friction of the rough pads against the smooth inner lining of his rectum was addicting in itself; a sensation so strange and pleasing all at once. Yet, even with this pleasure, something was missing.

"Can we just…get …to the …main…event…already?"

Ichigo felt the answer as we was lifted and pulled even closer and he felt the warm shaft rest between the cleft of his butt cheeks, Grimmjow pushing it between them to cover it in leftover lubrication before the head was against the still-occupied hole. Moving the fingers out, the ex-Espada held the two buttocks apart and began to press inward at a steady, moderate pace.

Ichigo closed his eyes to better remember his first time; it was warm, continuously releasing warmth into his body, warmth that only accumulated until it became warm; the solid but soft skin of Grimmjow's penis providing a gentle friction underneath the slick lube that had allowed entrance. Forward it kept on pushing, testing his limits until it felt that the sensations would slowly travel up the entire course of his body. When the movement ceased, he felt his posterior muscles squeeze down, greeting the intrusion in his body.

"Ready? Once I start I'm not going to take it easy on you."

The warm flush had already traveled to his cheeks, his forehead on Grimmjow's shoulder as he steadied his breath and gave a quick nod, which was met with a quick, shallow thrust. Feeling the friction, Ichigo lifted his head, squeezing down again, his whole body following the movement, causing the blood swollen member to move with the body. His own erection was already in a state where slight stimulation could force him to ejaculate, and Ichigo was continued to be a follower in this regard; he'd rather die than cum before Grimmjow.

Steeling himself, Ichigo began to rock back and forth, starting slow but picking up speed until he was riding Grimmjow with almost reckless abandon, each squeeze of his opening sporadic and of different intensity. Forward and back, squeeze, back, push, forward, rotate, squeeze. The dick inside of him filling him, his rocking back and forth forcing it to move with him, rigid and stiff. For the briefest moment, he felt the side of his lining produce a different kind of friction. As quickly as it came, it was gone, as was his breath.

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Grimmjow, taking advantage of the pause, used the time to pull out quickly, the heated friction of such a swift movement making him eager to re-sheathe himself in that searing crevice of Ichigo. Flipping the boy on to his hands and feet, Grimmjow re-entered aggressively, the satisfied groan from Ichigo being more than enough to begin a pace even faster than that which the boy had set. He hunched over the body, his chest covering the sweat-laden back and his fingers interwoven between the smaller, paler ones as his hips snapped back and forth, pulling out until the head of his dripping cock was the only thing that wasn't exposed to the air. The pace was hard, brutal and competitive, their bodies moving away and then towards each other, trying to make the other lose control first.

Low groans and growls from the larger male, the dark cerulean pubic hair above his genitalia rubbing coarse against the firm rear of the whiter skin whose mouth made hisses and moans in time with the movement of their pelvis's each movement driving them higher and closer to their orgasm and each other. One particularly angled thrust caused a gasp in the younger man as Grimmjow smirked and mimicked the previous thrust, the sensation depriving the shinigami of his sense of rhythm and ultimately losing the battle as his stimulated prostate caused him to release his ejaculate upon floor and pillows alike as he crumpled to the floor from exhaustion, Grimmjow still moving in the now tighter cavern until a well angled stroke found him emptying his sperm inside the channel of his young lover before collapsing on top of him and enjoying the beautiful exhaustion that came from sex. At least, they tried to, until the ringing of Ichigo's communication device between Soul Society echoed in the room.

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Groaning, Ichigo groped around his ankles for his pants, and the pocket that housed the damn ringing. Finding it and extracting it from his pocket, he flipped open the cover and glared at the message until the black spots turned into letters. When the letters finally made contact with his brain and formed words. He was left with only one thing to say.

"Fuck. My. Life."

Thankfully, the large man on top of him had already fallen asleep and he didn't have to deal with the gloating…yet. Sighing, he closed his eyes and tried not to think about the contents of the message and quickly fell asleep.

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**Message Sent: 18:43**

**To: Ichigo Kurosaki 14****th**** Squad**

**Ichigo Kurosaki has been named Lieutenant of the 14****th**** squad under the leadership of Grimmjow Jaegerjaques effectively immediately. **

**

* * *

**FYI: More on the 14th squad in this universe later (there's a 15th too, but shhhh!)

So, how was that for totally awkward sex? If it doesn't work, I'll consider an alternate ending...maybe.

Thanks for reading!

P.S. I'd like to thank consistent GrimmIchi updaters for motivating me to write this thing (finally!). It's inspiring how fast the rest of you update, it truly is.


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